The Life of a King
by Shay-sama
Summary: Zutara Week Day 3 Pain. The life of a Firelord is one of pain and solitude.


_"The life of a King is a life of solitude."_

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Over the cusp of the mountain Zuko could see the setting sun. He basked in the final seconds of warmth before it slipped behind the mountain but the paint of oranges and reds still streaked the sky. The Firelord's chambers were lazily shadowed and Zuko rested his head against the window frame as the drowsiness that always accompanied sunset set in. He heard the guards talking to somebody at the door and just before he would get up he heard the door open. He should have turned his head. He knew he should but he just couldn't find the energy to do it. To care that it might be an assassin in his room.

"Zuko?"

He looked at that voice. He knew that voice.

Katara.

She had travelled by ship. Appa was with Aang in the Earth Kingdom while she was at The Southern Watertibe. She had been on the bow. The loose hairs around the side of her face were tied back and left to hang with the rest of her mass of hair that was wind blown. Her cheeks looked positively wind swept against her skin. Her eyebrows were drawn worriedly over her big blue eyes.

"Katara...what are you doing here?"

He didn't come to greet her. He remained seated at the windowsill in only his sleep robe. Her lips thinned for a moment before she spoke.

"Ty Lee sent me a letter from Kyoshi."

She saw the telltale of shock in his eyes before he clamped down on it.

"She said Mai was with her and upset and that she thought somebody should check on you."

Zuko nodded and continued to look at her expectantly. Her eyes turned questioning.

"What happened?"

Zuko sighed before looking back at the sky. His drowsiness was still there. He wished they could both just move to his bed and sleep. It had been so long since he'd seen her, seen anyone actually, but most especially she and sometimes he couldn't sleep at all because he couldn't hear _them _sleeping near him_._

"I didn't give her enough attention she said."

Katara nodded as if she already knew this and just wanted his confirmation.

"So she left."

Zuko nodded and continued to watch the lethargic sky.

"Why would she say something like that?"

Zuko barely shook his head. He knew alright he just didn't want to say it.

"Because I haven't. I've been so busy trying to get the Fire Nation back on track. I don't have time any more for just sitting idly on a couch with her whiles the servants shower her with treats as she sharpens a knife. I don't have time for a walk about the city."

Katara had somehow ended up a meter or so away from him while he had been staring at the sky. Usually he was more alert than this. But it said something about his trust that he allowed her to sneak up on him.

"So...make time."

Zuko looked at her quizzically before scoffing. He left his perch on the windowsill and continues into the darker shades of the room.

"You've never been a Firelord before."

She looked at him curiously as he ran a hand over the fine upholstery of his chambers.

"What do you mean?"

Zuko signed before looking over his shoulder but not at her. He was looking at some point on the floor before her feet.

"The life of a King is one of solitude. It's one of loneliness and cruelty. Mai knows this."

He signed before he turned his head away and picked nervously at a loose thread on the upholstery.

"Well I thought she did. For a Firelord the company of your spouse is an indulgence."

Katara made her way over to him and took his hand away from the furniture before he ruined it.

"I spend a good amount of time with you when I visit."

Zuko looked at her sardonically but was glad she understood that he desperately craved human contact and kept her hand around his wrist.

"Yes because you're usually in the war room or at the business tea with all the other ambassadors. Mai...Mai hates meetings."

Katara raised an eyebrow quizzically and spoke with a hint of bitter sarcasm.

"So why are you sitting idly here when you should be out writing a letter to your beloved."

Because Mai didn't understand? Because Mai never had to do what we all did? Because Mai would kill her parents murderers without a second thought?

"Executions are at an all time high."

Katara's eyes were at first surprised at the change of subject but then filled with a kind of sad terror.

"What?"

Zuko looked at her harshly even though this wasn't her fault and had nothing to do with her.

"Executions Katara. The Boiling Rock is overflowing with Ozai supporters who are just itching for a chance to spill my blood. I wonder how much blood the Fire Nation will demand of others and it's own before it's satisfied."

He shook his head. Mai was part of that. Mai didn't bat an eyelash at the executions. She didn't even twitch when the prospect of executing Azula was brought up. Her parents had trained her well and, seeing that, Zuko was glad his did not.

"And that's only the Boiling Rock. I can't tell you how much are in the shadows. Lately my mother insists on cooking my food after the last poisoning."

At this her eye widened and her hand tightened on his.

"They tried to poison you?"

At the deadly gleam that entered her eyes he was scared for his attempted murderers. She wouldn't kill them of course but she would inspire the very fear of Koh in them.

"Of course. You're not royalty until someone has tried poisoning you."

Maybe he granted them mercy or maybe he just wanted to have her company a little longer. Her eyes took on that quizzical look.

"When did you first get poisoned?"

He remembered the day. He had been so afraid he would die. His mother had stayed by his side the whole night. An apparently kindly palace chef had offered him some fire flakes.

"I was seven."

Katara looked at him with sad eyes.

"That's horrible."

He shook the shivers off that he always had when he looked into her sad eyes. He looked at his feet.

"The life of a Firelord is horrible."

She felt the muscles of his wrist tighten as his hand balled into a fist. His eye had intensified on the spot on the ground and she could feel his skin heating.

"I thought you wanted to be Firelord?"

He shook his head sadly.

"I wanted Azula to not be Firelord and the only way for that to happen was for me to take the throne."

He closed his eyes and took a breath.

"The life of a king is painful. I never wanted that."

She sighed before tugging on his wrist a bit.

"What do you want Zuko?"

He looked up at her and all the fire that she had felt coursing though his veins was quenched by the water in her eyes.

"I want to be like you guys...The war is over and now everyone is happy but me. We had the world on our shoulders and it was fine since we were all together but now you guys don't have the burden and I still do and...and I'm tired."

He let out a defeated sigh before looking back down at the ground.

"I don't want to carry it alone. It's painful."

She pulled him forward by his wrist and wrapped her arms around him. He held onto her tightly because she was someone who understood what it was like to have the world on your shoulders and to take care of everyone and knew what mercy was.

"You don't have to Zuko. I'm here. We all bled to do what we thought was right and our wounds will heal. Eventually."

He pressed his head into her glorious wind swept curls.

"And if they don't?"

She smiled against his shoulder.

"Then be glad that I'm a waterbender."

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_The life of the Queen is to protect him from that solitude._

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I have the other ones but so far this is my favorite. Will put up the rest of the prompts later. I own nothing and whoever can guess wehre the first quote is from gets a virtual cookie. :D


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